Rate of Mood: im just an onion.....

i do think and feel that im just like an onion.....with so many layers just like a protection coat....
people gotta use so many times to peel them off, and YES, i really need lots of time to get close with someone, even tho i trust them....
but then, as you cut the onion, people will cry, and thatz just me, i guess....T^T
as people get close to me, i just make them feel sad .... ...... so....yea....
but then once an onion is put under the water, it won't cause others to cry ..... and where is that water? im seraching still...><
well then, if you dun trust me, then it seems to me, we can only be really common friends.....
people always say and tell me to open up myself, but...every time i did, i just made others sad....so should i keep doing that?
my bro, after all, he really knows me the best, he knows, deep inside me, im still just a kid, even tho i really think a lot as i age...
many things i wanna say......i guess.........i just forget and search another 'WATER' ......hahaha since i lose my courage to convince you anymore and this is due to your one sentence...