| | I am looking at my older posts and can feel time flying by me. It feels like a lot had happened since last last Sunday. My emotions went up and down since I found out. And then there were more and more. It’s getting to the point where I can’t breathe anymore. I am looking at my calendar, recalling what I have been doing and what had been going on for the last two weeks. It’s intense. My emotions were intense and scary. My soul is lost. I feel weak and tired.
The semi confrontation or the revelations in between are driving me down the path of darkness. I am at a dark place where I can’t see anything around me. But I know I will be fine after this. I will be fine.
Everyday I get suck into that darkness. Guessing and wondering what is happening and what is going on around me. Not that I haven’t expressed my lost sense of direction, but I get no answer. I would say something from time to time and he seems to not take me seriously at all. I get suck in that darkness for the rest of the day and night. The next day he comes around and talks like we are perfectly fine again. How do I get myself out of the loop???
As I sip from the bubble tea he brought me and ponder on how I got myself into this hole, the below is the fortune I got this Sunday. Does it shed some light to my darkness?
調雛紫燕在簷前。對語呢喃近午天。
或往或來低復起。有時剪破綠楊煙。
解說及記載：
燕教燕子學講話。在簷口對語。往來飛舞。亦一樂也。
但往而復來。低而復起。似無定景象。然平穩而無礙。
求得此簽者。凡事亦不宜憂心也。但要防是非口舌。
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